| weather | : |  | cloudy |
| outside | : |  | 11.0°C |
| mood | : |  | ROFLcopters |
Husband Guy let me play once when the Brother-in-Law wasn't home (they each have their own accounts). We made two new cow things. I had fun, but he HATES playing with me. It really stresses him out something fierce, so he never wants to play with me anymore. =D
In the first quest, we were supposed to kill 10 ostrich-like things each and get 10 feathers (or something like that). I'm complaining all the way through it: "Why do we have to waste time killing 10 each? I mean, these smelly birds have way more than 20 feathers on them. Hell, we could kill one, take our 10, dump the body in the middle of town and everybody can have 10 stupid feathers each."
He was all mad at me that during one fight, I'm standing around staring at the sky or running around at random. The controls are different from other games I'm used to, so I spent most of my time trying to just move and do things properly... and not look like psychotic bumblebee on crack.
I go missing all of a sudden because I've seen some cool looking creature or a tree and ran off to get a better look at it.
Some of our game conversations:
Him: "Shoot at that thing over there."
Me: "Okay." *bang*
Him: "WHATAREYOUDOINGNOTNOW!!!! Nice shot, by the way... But WAIT for me to set up!!"
Him: "C'mere! Where are you GOING?"
Me: "I'm going over there..."
Him: "WHY are you going over there, we're killing THIS one."
Me: "I don't WANNA kill that one. YOU'RE killing that one, so I'll kill this one..."
Him: "I CAN'T kill them by myself, I need you to shoot at them while I cast!! Gaaaahh... I'm HURT now."
Him: "Look, it's a dead body..."
Me: "How do you know it's a dead body?"
Him: "Because it's laying on the ground. Not moving."
Me: "How do you know he's not just sleeping?"
Him: "In the middle of a forest? ... No, see, this is what sleeping looks like." *lays down and sleeps in the middle of the forest for no reason, probably to the bewilderment of the passersby*
Me: "He could still be a sleeping person."
Him: "... He's sprawled out on his back with his arms and legs everywhere. He's dead."
Me: "Well, you sleep sprawled on your back with your arms and legs everywhere."
Him: "I DO NOT!"
Him: "When you mouse over him, it says 'Corpse' in the corner."
Me: "'Corpse' just means 'body' whether it's dead or alive. At least, it is in French. 'Corps' is body, so 'corpse' must be the feminine form."
Him: "THIS IS NOT FRENCH, UH-KAY?! And, besides, he has stars floating around to indicate that he is 'lootable'."
Me: "Maybe he's dizzy."
Him: "... ?"
Me: "He might be dizzy and needed to lay down for a while. How would you like it if you were dizzy and you lay down but some rude person decided to loot you?"
Him: "... ... ... SHUDDUP, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!"
[Update - Thursday, May 19, 2005]
So, Dude hated playing with me so much that he bought me my own copy, scrounged up more RAM for me and gave me his better video card. XD
I'm an Undead Priestess, Fugly Girl™. I have a brown dress, glowy eyes, greasy hair and everything.
Me: "Ooo, a 'Mushroom Hat'... can I wear that?"
Him: "Uh. No. It's a 'Forest Mushroom Cap'. It's food. You eat it."
I think I'm the only person who can aim to walk through a doorway and completely miss the house.
I keep getting stuck in corners.
I tried to walk up to a guy to get my quest. He was wide open, but somehow, I still couldn't, for the life of me, maneouver myself to stand in front of him, face him and talk, all at the same time ("whuddya mean I can't talk to him with my back towards him?"). I finally managed to get to talk to him... I wound up standing on a table, looking like a complete moron. But at that point, I didn't care because I was finally in sort of the right orientation that right-clicking on him worked. *sigh*
I hid behind a bush to cast Smite at the bat. He shouldn't be able to see me. I mean, I couldn't see him.
*och* They can resist my Smite? That's just not fair.
Him: "Okay, look, all those people want to talk to you."
Me: "How do you know?"
Him: "Because they have yellow things over their heads. The ones with yellow question marks have a quest for you."
Me: "Why? What if I don't want to talk to him?"
Him: "You HAVE to."
Me: "But what if I don't WANT a quest? I just want to go outside and smite things."
Him: *gnash teeth* "You have to get the quest. That's the WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME..."
Me: *waiting for the quest to finish printing out*
Quest: *scribble* *scribble* *scribble*
Me: *quadruple-click on the disabled "Accept" button multiple times*
Me: "Ai-ya, tell me FASTER..."
Him: "Y'know, clicking it faster isn't going to make it print out faster."
Me: "YES, IT WILL."
Him: "Okay, you got the quest, right?"
Me: "Yeah."
Him: "Did you read the scroll?"
Me: "No."
Him: *headdesk*
Fugly: "I have no TARGET."
Me: "UUUNGH... THAT OOOOOONE!!!"
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE."
Me: "What the hell is with this 'Out of Range' crap? I was plenty close enough. If I can bloody see them, I should be within range, dammit.
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE."
Me: "SHUUUT UP, you fucking WHINER."
And I press 2-W-2-W until it works. Husband Guy hates it when I do that XD
Me: 2-W-2-W
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE."
Him: "Just keep walking... you'll see the number on your Quick Bar turn from red to white when you're in range."
Me: 2-W-2-W-2
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE."
Him: "You don't have to do that, you know. It will turn white when you can cast."
Me: W-2-W-2-W
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE."
Him: "QUIT TAPPING AND JUST WALK CLOSER!!!"
He sets himself on Follow and comes over to my machine to watch over my shoulder, tutor me and what-not. I'm down two pixels and I scream at him: "AAA!! GO HEAL ME!! GO HEAL ME!"
He tells me that when my Smite bar turns green, I can hit the button to re-cast again. I tried to time it perfectly so that I start hitting the button before it turns green so that by the time it is green, I've already pressed the button, thereby, wasting as little time as possible. After a while, I give up trying to time it and just press the cast button in rapid succession.
It's like the Elevator Button Theory. The faster you repeatedly press the button, the faster the elevator comes to your floor.
I think it's dumb that I'm out of mana and I can't drink water while I'm in battle. That's retarded. I can SO slash a dog with my right hand and drink with my left.
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Comments
"Why are you doing that?"
"Why aren't you going there?"
"You should be doing this. No, this. NO, THIS!"
At which point I usually just offer him the controller and ask if he'd rather play. :S
And I love your "psychotic bumblebee on crack" phrase. Sounds like me too. :D
Or I make something up about deciding to go water the poor trees because they looked dehydrated. (ie. "My girl cow _IS_ wearing an apron, why can't I carry water in my apron? This is such a retarded game!") Or that I want to see the cute bear, getting into attack range and running back to him with the bear chasing after me.
Biggest MMORPG on the block, loosely based on Blizzard's Warcraft series, upsetting Everquest and Final Fantasy in popularity... until GTA: San Andreas comes out for the PC, at least in our house. =D
I've had to show them this to warn them the Dark Side of that actually happening =)
Another reason why I love your writing! Cracks me up so bad.
P.S. Completely unrelated... but did you ever read 'She Hates My Futon'? Something PJammer recommended. If you did... what did you think?
I'm thinking, "it's been a loooong while since Physics 12, but isn't that resonant frequency?"
Hehehe!
You know... I said a few of those things, I know. But I think I kept a lot to myself, too, out of fear of annoying people too much. And then, against my own will, I got suckered in.
I sounded a lot like you when I started playing WoW myself.
Also, I know exactly what you're talking about with the feather thing... I started a moo cow myself (actually managed to snag the name Heifer too) at some point.
It's really fun to play with Robin... this is the first game that we've played together that we both enjoy an equal amount. Oh the fun.
And the people who call you "addicted", don't know what they're talking about. *roll eyes*
Him: "THIS IS NOT FRENCH, UH-KAY?! And, besides, he has stars floating around to indicate that he is 'lootable'."
Me: "Maybe he's dizzy."
Him: "... ?"
Me: "He might be dizzy and needed to lay down for a while. How would you like it if you were dizzy and you lay down but some rude person decided to loot you?"
Him: "... ... ... SHUDDUP, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!""
aahahahaha. awesome :)
what server are you on? sounds like a PvP one :)
You play a priest(ess)! Why do you need your husband to heal you? =P
Another thing that's absolutely WEIRD about my company?
The theory is TRUE. (Well, similar theory, not the same one -- The faster you repeatedly press the close door button, the quicker the door will close).
In fact, just pressing the button once DOESN'T work. The door gets jammed and bounces open. When you press it repeatedly, only THEN does it close properly.