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The Autumn of His Life

weather: rain & snow
outside: 3.3°C
mood: ...
I somehow think userinfoSid will be wearing the collar for the rest of his life.


Because of the collar, he can't clean himself as well and has dingle-berries. =P I've been grabbing him for a quick rinse every once in a while. The collar has made it easier because it protects my hand from his bites. He doesn't like being grabbed at first, but it has to be done. After the rinse, I have him wrapped in a towel, in my hand.

He struggles for a while and then calms down. I've actually been able to pet him and scritch his head. I help loosen and groom off his new pinfeathers on top of his head, on his back, which he has not been able to do. He's all relaxed in my hands and his eyes are half closed.

I swear, tonight, he fell asleep while I was stroking the back of his neck.

I really don't know how much longer he'll live. Dr. MacDonald said he was older than she originally thought because the open skin under his wings were healing very slowly. I think they're closed up now. I had a peek tonight and they looked good to me.

He's still very perky and playful. He still loves rice, small veggies and whatever small bits of our dinner that we give him in a little soy sauce dish that's propped up on a little white plastic tripod from a Pizza Hut pizza. He chirps, chatters, warbles and makes all his regular sounds. He gets suitably offended at being ignored and squawks. He can still throw a tantrum at not being able to pick under his wing because of the collar. =)

But they're a prey species. They won't show illness or any kind of weakness until it's just about too late.

I saw a beautiful little hollow glass vessel pendant by a local merchant. The one she had on display was amber coloured glass with purple flowers and green vines. She took custom orders, so I asked her for one in Sid's colours:

  • smokey transparent grey glass
  • yellow flowers with orange centres
  • white vines
  • silver wire chain loops
  • cultured pearl stopper
  • size: 25mm x 35mm

She made two of them and I loved them both. I bought both of them. They are about the size of my thumb.

I was going to use one of them for userinfoSid's ashes. Most likely the one on the right. They have sterling silver wire on the neck twisted into two side loops. I can string a 16" or 18" chain on them and wear it as a necklace.

The pet cremation services place that I asked said that it would be just the right size.

I wanted to be prepared, I didn't want to be stuck with something mediocre because Sid has meant so much to me. But I sort of wonder if I'm depriving myself of the ritual of doing it when I need to.

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Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
kittygopounce
Dec. 12th, 2007 06:22 am (UTC)
I wonder too, since you wonder, but at the same time - maybe it will help to know you were prepared and therefore have a special vessel rather than something you had to choose at the time under pressure for it. I guess I mean that the other side is that knowing that and having the nice vessel might help? ... =|

I'm sorry to hear he seems to be fading.
bride
Dec. 12th, 2007 07:50 am (UTC)
Yeah, it could go either way. I really can't tell. It would take someone with a similar personality as I do, who has had to deal with at least two deaths, one without the prior arrangements and one with, to really be able to say.

He's doing well and the pet cremation services guy said that a lot of pets, especially those where you don't know the age, last longer than expected. =)

It's just that we're pegging his age to be about 13 now, considering the new information. Cockatiels live about 16-18 years. And a few years goes by really quickly.
fianna
Dec. 12th, 2007 08:50 am (UTC)
I think it's a beautiful vessel for his ashes whenever he does pass, whether that be soon or many years down the road. I feel like you are in a much better state of mind now to pick something that will truly be special to you. At least in my experience, having to choose a vessel for your beloved pet's ashes after the fact was an extremely painful experience.
bride
Dec. 12th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
That's kinda what I was thinking. Thanks =)
hoosier_red
Dec. 12th, 2007 09:04 am (UTC)
It's a lovely container, and I think it's probably best that you had the chance to get it now rather than having to scramble later on. I'm just sorry that you and Sid are facing this.
bride
Dec. 12th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks =)
easter
Dec. 12th, 2007 02:10 pm (UTC)
Oh, precious birdie. *hug*
bride
Dec. 12th, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
I think the only time he's ever been held is at the vet while being poked, prodded and examined. He's never been held just to be petted and scritched.

I'm amazed at how far he's come with his health and behaviour.
highnez
Dec. 13th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about Sid's health problems.

I've never kept the ashes from my beloved pets. Sometimes I wish I had, but other times I feel that having their memories is enough for me. I constantly go back and forth.

I think that it is good that you are preparing and those are beautiful vessels. What a wonderful place for the memories to be kept.

There will still be plenty of ritual to observe when the time comes. Having this part of it dealt with already means that perhaps you can concentrate your energy and grief on some other aspect.
bride
Dec. 13th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks =) Yeah, I think the consensus is that it's a good idea that I did this now instead of later.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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