The Bride of the First House (bride) wrote,
The Bride of the First House
bride

Coming Up For Air

These last two days have been crazy. I have so much to do at work. It's not overwhelming, but it's no picnic either.

I haven't had much time to myself lately. It's been work 9:00am to 7:30 or 8:00pm, stop by the hospital to visit Husband Guy's Grandma*, then go home, have dinner, catch up on home e-mail, shower, read in bed for a while then go to sleep.

Well, I asked for stability.

* I don't think I wrote about this. *sigh* Grandma has been in the hospital for 3 weeks now. One lung had completely filled up with fluid. They had to put a drain in under her ribcage and monitor it carefully. The drain has been taken out now, but Grandma is almost 80 and weakened a lot by last year's surgery, so she's having a difficult time recovering.

Grandma has been battling cancer for years now. It started out as Breast Cancer. She had surgery in one breast years ago, then discovered a lump in the other one over the winter of 1999, before E's wedding. She recovered fairly well from that one. We were all marvelling how well she did and thinking that was very encouraging.

The winter of 2000, before our wedding, they discovered the cancer had spread to her large intestine. So, she had surgery to remove a collection of tumours. After that surgery, she could no longer stool from her anus - two holes were cut in her abdomen and stool bags were attached. For a while, she couldn't urinate either, she had a hose connected through the urethra and a bag that had to be carried around with her 24x7.

She hated it. Sometimes the hose would snag on something or someone would accidentally catch it with their foot when she was at the dinner table and it would get yanked... once, Grandpa got pissed off and pushed the chair that her bag was hanging on. Anything that yanked the hose caused her a lot of pain. Then for a while after, the urine would look light or dark pink from the bleeding. It was just heartwrenching to watch her have to go through that.

The urine hose and bag came off in March/April 2001. But she still had very little control over her urinary tract muscles. She began to wear Depends. Sometime just before our wedding, she had to go back to the urine hose/bag. I remember her being livid at that. But I think it worked out... I think they gave her two smaller bags that were just taped to her back. At least I didn't notice anything from her outer appearance.

Every week, she had a nurse come in to clean her dressings and other maintenance/upkeep. Every month or so, she went to the hospital to get the hoses that went into her back changed. Almost every month, the doctors (probably a different one every time) had difficulties getting the new hose in because it was such a tight fit. *choked sigh* It had to be tight so that they would stay, but she'd be hurting for a week after the hoses were forced in like that.

When she started coughing in February/March 2001 before our wedding though, I knew something was up. The large intestine and the lungs are closely connected. If the cancer was in the large intestine, the next place it would go is the lungs. She had regular x-rays, but the results kept saying she was okay. Then this last time, it was nearly too late. Feh.

This is one of the reasons Husband Guy and I want to have a baby as soon as possible. We want a baby for all the right reasons and some of the wrong reasons as well.

Tags: grandma jing-tsun
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