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Coming Up For Air

These last two days have been crazy. I have so much to do at work. It's not overwhelming, but it's no picnic either.

I haven't had much time to myself lately. It's been work 9:00am to 7:30 or 8:00pm, stop by the hospital to visit Husband Guy's Grandma*, then go home, have dinner, catch up on home e-mail, shower, read in bed for a while then go to sleep.

Well, I asked for stability.

* I don't think I wrote about this. *sigh* Grandma has been in the hospital for 3 weeks now. One lung had completely filled up with fluid. They had to put a drain in under her ribcage and monitor it carefully. The drain has been taken out now, but Grandma is almost 80 and weakened a lot by last year's surgery, so she's having a difficult time recovering.

Grandma has been battling cancer for years now. It started out as Breast Cancer. She had surgery in one breast years ago, then discovered a lump in the other one over the winter of 1999, before E's wedding. She recovered fairly well from that one. We were all marvelling how well she did and thinking that was very encouraging.

The winter of 2000, before our wedding, they discovered the cancer had spread to her large intestine. So, she had surgery to remove a collection of tumours. After that surgery, she could no longer stool from her anus - two holes were cut in her abdomen and stool bags were attached. For a while, she couldn't urinate either, she had a hose connected through the urethra and a bag that had to be carried around with her 24x7.

She hated it. Sometimes the hose would snag on something or someone would accidentally catch it with their foot when she was at the dinner table and it would get yanked... once, Grandpa got pissed off and pushed the chair that her bag was hanging on. Anything that yanked the hose caused her a lot of pain. Then for a while after, the urine would look light or dark pink from the bleeding. It was just heartwrenching to watch her have to go through that.

The urine hose and bag came off in March/April 2001. But she still had very little control over her urinary tract muscles. She began to wear Depends. Sometime just before our wedding, she had to go back to the urine hose/bag. I remember her being livid at that. But I think it worked out... I think they gave her two smaller bags that were just taped to her back. At least I didn't notice anything from her outer appearance.

Every week, she had a nurse come in to clean her dressings and other maintenance/upkeep. Every month or so, she went to the hospital to get the hoses that went into her back changed. Almost every month, the doctors (probably a different one every time) had difficulties getting the new hose in because it was such a tight fit. *choked sigh* It had to be tight so that they would stay, but she'd be hurting for a week after the hoses were forced in like that.

When she started coughing in February/March 2001 before our wedding though, I knew something was up. The large intestine and the lungs are closely connected. If the cancer was in the large intestine, the next place it would go is the lungs. She had regular x-rays, but the results kept saying she was okay. Then this last time, it was nearly too late. Feh.

This is one of the reasons Husband Guy and I want to have a baby as soon as possible. We want a baby for all the right reasons and some of the wrong reasons as well.


Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
badkarma_05
Nov. 25th, 2001 05:26 am (UTC)
I'm really sorry to hear that your grandmother-in-law is not feeling well. These types of things are never easy. You have my best wishes for her recovery.
bride
Nov. 25th, 2001 01:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks.
mayna
Nov. 26th, 2001 08:54 am (UTC)
Sorry your grandmother isn't feeling well. :-(
Bill & I are the same way... we want a baby for the right reasons and for the wrong reasons too. Bill thinks he's getting old (he's 32) and I think people will visit us more if we have children. (those are the wrong reasons :-)
I'm wondering though, how long it takes to get pregnant if you're not using BC and you have sex whenever you want (as opposed to figuring out ovulation cycles and such). So far we're up to 4 months.
bride
Nov. 26th, 2001 09:17 am (UTC)
See below =)
bride
Nov. 26th, 2001 09:16 am (UTC)
I took this outside of the previous context so poor Sean won't be force-fed the whole commentary =)

They say the average is time 6 months to conceive and about 90% of couples will conceive within a year. We're at 4 months too.

I'm the oldest in my family, my Dad was 36 and my Mom was 30 when they had me... *shrug*
mayna
Nov. 26th, 2001 09:54 am (UTC)
It's not a big deal to ME... I am 25, I feel I have plenty of time. Bill feels he should've had kids already. My mom and dad were 24 and 26 when they had me (the oldest, and they were married 3 years before they had me) and then they were 36 and 38 when they had my youngest sister. (note that my mom, sister, and I all have the same Chinese zodiac symbol... the dragon. cool eh)

That makes me feel a bit better. You know how in high school they all tell you "don't have sex until you're married" and they stress the failure rate of condoms and all that. It makes you think if you have unprotected sex ONCE you'll end up pregnant.
bride
Nov. 26th, 2001 10:01 am (UTC)
My Dad, my brother and I are Tigers =) My Mom is the lone Monkey.

It seems so karmically unfair that there are so many unwanted pregnancies, but those of us who have built a life, a home, want a baby and are prepared to love and care for it, have infertility problems. ={
mayna
Nov. 26th, 2001 10:26 am (UTC)
Yeah, my crazy psycho ex-roommate would be a perfect example.

I'm hoping that our fertility problems are just off-timing and not anything more serious.

One of my friends is also trying to get pregnant but she has uber-irregular periods, which makes it difficult.
bride
Nov. 26th, 2001 10:28 am (UTC)
I'm hoping that our fertility problems are just off-timing and not anything more serious.

Same here... =P BTW, have you Cybersynch'ed yet?
bride
Nov. 26th, 2001 10:31 am (UTC)
Oh, forgot to mention... even if you time it right on, it's still only a 1-in-4 chance of conception. =P The more I read, the more insanely difficult it actually sounds...
mintygirl
Nov. 26th, 2001 03:21 pm (UTC)
oh, i'm so sorry to hear about your grandma-in-law. take care of her and yourself.

as for kids, yes, i have that odd feeling now and then chris' aunt was really hoping we'd get married before she passed away (she was shoving enough jewelry catalogues at him).
bride
Nov. 26th, 2001 04:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks =)

Oy... *sigh*
badkarma_05
Nov. 26th, 2001 06:41 pm (UTC)
All this talk about babies... it's very scary!
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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