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Funeral Things

weather: sunny/cloudy
mood: okay

We're still being very methodical about it all. I was talking to the Kathleen-Friend who has lost grandparents and she said "...the point when it will really hit is when something great happens and you instinctively turn to tell that person."

The funeral has been arranged for next week. It'll be a Western style funeral. They took a few sets of Grandma's clothes, her glasses and jewellery to the funeral arrangement people. I guess it'll be an open-casket.

I've been looking for a black business suit ensemble to wear. The difficulty at this time of year is that boutiques are clearing out their winter stock now, so the black long sleeved blazers are sold out and no more are being ordered in. The long sleeve ones still available are not in my size. The ones that are in my size and will fit, are short sleeved. It'll still be too chilly for short sleeves.

*sigh* I was thinking about a black business suit ensemble just this last fall/winter. Not particularly for a funeral - no one ever really thinks about preparing for funerals. Just as interview attire or generally something presentable to wear for a formal-ish occasion. I got a white shirt, but the rest of it was a low priority thought, so it fell off the radar.

I have to drop by my parents' place sometime tomorrow to give them the concert tickets back. My parents' choir is having a concert and they're performing. We were going to go, but my Dad told me not to. We're not supposed to be visiting non-family members' homes, going out, going to weddings, showers, etc. within a month (or two?) of a death in the family for fear of bringing the "death aura" with us.


Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
badkarma_05
May. 10th, 2002 07:32 am (UTC)
I've sure been thinking about you the past few days.

I actually missed the funerals for two of my grandparents while I was deployed in the navy. My mother's father died before I was born. My other three grandparents died withing two years of each other while I was in the navy. However, I was able to come home for my father's mother's funeral. It was horrible. I never appreciated how much a funeral paraded your loss in front of you. I feel for you; that you have to go through that now. Take care over the next few days.
bride
May. 10th, 2002 11:58 am (UTC)
Take care over the next few days.

Thanks =}

three grandparents died withing [sic] two years of each other

I've heard that when one grandparent goes, grief sometimes gets the other one within a short time too. Their bodies just can't handle the stress. I mentioned it to W a while ago.
ntang
May. 10th, 2002 12:11 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss, both of you. How's your husband holding up?

I hope you guys are doing ok. I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound incredibly trite and stupid in light of the situation. :/
bride
May. 10th, 2002 12:32 pm (UTC)
Re:
Thank you, Nick. I know it's hard to say anything at times like this. I appreciate the good wishes no matter how it's said =)

We're okay. We only fall apart when we see other people falling apart. I don't think it'll fully hit until the funeral.
angelicmaiden
May. 10th, 2002 04:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
I found your journal through weddingplans, I hope you do not mind..but It must be so hard on you and your family. I hope this grieving time passes easier for you and your family.

~Alicia
bride
May. 10th, 2002 05:05 pm (UTC)
Re: *hugs*
I don't mind at all. Thank you for the comforting words =)
thisisme9556
May. 10th, 2002 05:38 pm (UTC)
Your friend is correct about when the death truly hits you.

It is hard to lose grandparents. You see or hear something you want to share and then you remember that you can't. I feel that way about my parents too.

Sometimes someone says something or does something that reminds me of mom or grandma and it is still hard after 6 years to know that they are not there to share things with.

It will get easier, but not for a while. Just let the grief flow. You need it right now.
bride
May. 10th, 2002 05:46 pm (UTC)
Thanks Cheryl =)
thisisme9556
May. 10th, 2002 05:54 pm (UTC)
Re:
No problem...

Just promise that you and your husband will take care of yourselves. It is really easy when you are grieving to forget about yourselves and then you find that you are sick.

Oh, and I love the new picture too! :)
bride
May. 10th, 2002 06:02 pm (UTC)
Re:
We will. One of our conversations was about how young Grandma actually was (77) when the cancer got her. We decided that the best way to remember Grandma is to live healthy.
thisisme9556
May. 10th, 2002 06:06 pm (UTC)
Re:
That is a great way to think.

My mom died from cancer at 61. Dad from complications after heart bypass at 67. Made some of us in the family take a hard look at our own health.

solri
May. 12th, 2002 06:23 am (UTC)
Yes, I keep getting this with my father, who died a few weeks ago. The weirdest example was flying over for the funeral and worrying that I didn't have a black tie. I thought, "Oh well, I'm sure Dad's got a spare one he can lend me." Now that would have been ghoulish - wearing the departed's clothes to his funeral!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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