|music||:||Ben Heppner - O Noble Lame Etincelante, Airs Français|
The Chinese say it's not a good idea to keep going back to the grave site of the deceased after the funeral. That way, the soul won't leave the Middle Kingdom to go where it's supposed to because it keeps being attracted back by the energies of the living. There are only two times in the year that you go Tomb Sweeping or "go to pay your respects" - it is not supposed to be called "visiting"; you don't ever "visit the deceased", nor do you ever "go to see them".
The Spring Remembrance, 清 明 , is 105 days after the Winter Solstice of the Lunar Calendar. It's sometime in late March or early April of the Western calendar. The Autumn Remembrance, 崇 洋 , is the Ninth Day of the Ninth Moon of the Lunar Calendar which is some time in mid-October (it'll be October 14, 2002). This is when the family goes to the grave site to weed/clean/sweep the grave site (hence the term "Grave Sweeping") and pay their respects.
You also bring
- cooked whole chicken, with the head still attached
- cooked pork
- various assorted and expensive fruits
- wine or whiskey
- any particular food that the deceased favoured in life.
The meal would be taken to the cemetery and laid out on the ground or table as would a regular meal. Often Chinese burial grounds are outfitted with altar-like tables for such activities. I don't know if they'll have them where Grandma is.
Three rounded bowls of rice, three cups of rice wine and three sets of chopsticks would be laid out. The whole family would bow and pray to the ancestor, asking for the security of the family. Once the table is set, the youngest child present picks up the glass with the wine and pours it onto the grave, providing a drink for the ancestor. Then all present would partake in the food, assuring that the dead would not have to dine alone. This ritual is performed to ensure that the dead were not hungry on the other side, and provided good fortune for all their descendants.