March 26th, 2004


Not Friday Five - Married Life

weather: drizzling
outside: 8°C
mood: content
From a long chain of folks that roughly begins with twistperception (I find it a bit amusing/ironic that his music for the post is listed as "She Fucking Hates Me" =):

Do you talk to each other during the day while one or both of you is at work? Is that talk ever just for the heck of it, or is it about kids, bills, plans for the night...

We're usually busy at work, so if we talk it's usually to iron out logistics. Sometimes by phone, usually by IM. But there have been times when he's been so frustrated that he stormed out of the office and immediately called me from his cell just wanting to hear my voice. =)

Do married people still make out on the couch, etc? When kisses are exchanged, are they usually just kisses hello or goodbye, goodnight?

Yes, we make out on our couches. Usually when no one else is home. No, they're not just perfunctory kisses. They're also not just kisses either. *smirk*

When you leave to go somewhere, do you tell the other person before you go? Would you pissed off if he/she didn't tell you?

We almost always tell each other where we're going. About the only time he doesn't tell me first is if I'm asleep because he knows that if I wake up, I won't be able to fall asleep again. He'll usually mention where he's been after he gets back. And I do the same, except I just have a neurotic inhibition of waking people up.

I wouldn't be pissed off if he didn't tell me, but I would wonder why and I'd ask when he got back — maybe it was an emergency and he was in a hurry... And if he's evasive, that's just as good as telling me because he's only evasive about one very particular thing.

Do you eat any of your meals together?

We only have lunch separately now. Or if he's working really late and tells me to have dinner first.

Do you go to sleep at the same time?

Most of the time. Unless one of us is super tired.

Do you wake up together at the same time?

He wakes up first and then wakes me up. Or on the weekend, sometimes he'll get up first. He's a morning person and I'm not. He's SO a morning person and I'm SO not. I also have trouble falling asleep at night, so he lets me sleep if at all possible.

If you're a husband, do you still have friends who are girls? If you're a wife do you still have friends who are guys? (that are all "your" friends, not "our" friend). Does it bother your spouse? Does your spouse even know them or about them?

Neither of us have really close friends of the opposite sex. I used to, being one of a few females in Computer Science, but not really anymore. I don't think he's ever thought much of it, that most of my friends were guys. He said, and I quote, "Well, you're around guys all the time. Of course, there's going to be friendships there."

The times I've been talking to guys more than usual (the ones who are clearly not androgenous, I mean), I have asked him a number of times in earnest, "do you mind me talking to him?" and he says, "no" with no hesitation. I still watch him for unspoken things, but nothing makes me think it bothers him.

Do you still do things on the weekends or nights off with friends without your spouse? If you don't, do you ever wish you did?

Not really. I don't see him very much as it is. I'd rather be with him as much as possible. And money is tight for us right now, so I don't want to be wasting it away on entertainment and other stuff I don't need.

We do things without each other though. Every once in a while, we'll have some kind of Work social thing that the other is not invited to. If we need to run errands and the other doesn't have to tag along, we'll go alone.

I volunteer every Friday evening. That doesn't really make a difference, I'm usually done before he's ready to go home anyway. And if he's done, I'm sure he can fire up Quake, Unreal or some other kind of network game with co-workers. =) We've gone on extended trips out of the country without each other before, so it's not like we've never done anything separately.


Left/Right Brain Switching

weather: cloudy
outside: 9°C
mood: fascinated
Because fazia always posts the most fascinating things.

Control of our brain switches sides, apparently. Says Dr. Pettigrew in Australia.

His test is quite simple (it's available online in that article): Draw three dots to form the points of an isosceles or equilateral triangle. If you stare at one of those points, you'll notice that eventually the other two points will disappear. Then they reappear. Have someone time you for 30 seconds while you stare at one of those points. On a piece of scrap paper, make a check mark every time you see the two peripheral points reappear. It's called Bonneh's Illusion, after Yoram Bonneh.

Every time the two peripheral points reappear is when the control of your brain switches back. The rate at which you switch is theoretically indicative of the skills you're good at. It can also be controlled with training. Buddhist Monks can apparently make the dots disappear for hundreds of seconds at a time.

What's exciting to me, though, is that I noticed this before I was 10 that I could stare at something and make everything else turn white or disappear around it. And I knew that if I held my eyes reallyreally still, the white haze would stay as long as my eyes didn't move and I didn't blink. It was a game that I never told anyone about (I WAS AN ONLY CHILD, UH-KAY?). This could be why sometimes I got reprimanded for "daydreaming" or "staring off into space". I think I did try to tell others about it but I didn't explain it well and no one knew what I was talking about, I was laughed at, told I was stupid, etc.

For me, the two dots fade very very slowly and they will reappear every time I twitched or moved my eyes. So, I'm not sure if I counted the dot reappearances correctly. If I waited until the other dots completely disappeared, then I only get 2 switches in 30 seconds (like Mathematicians). If I didn't wait, I just counted it when they became bright again, I get 5 switches (4-6 is the Average Joe rate; 6+ is the Dancer/Musician rate).

I'm decent in Math, but not fantastic. I can keep up with senior undergraduate level Math curricula (which is nowhere near "being a Mathematician"), but I think I'd struggle going any further.