May 1st, 2005



weather: cloudy
outside: 11.0°C
mood: ROFLcopters
userinfoHusband Guy let me play once when the Brother-in-Law wasn't home (they each have their own accounts). We made two new cow things. I had fun, but he HATES playing with me. It really stresses him out something fierce, so he never wants to play with me anymore. =D

In the first quest, we were supposed to kill 10 ostrich-like things each and get 10 feathers (or something like that). I'm complaining all the way through it: "Why do we have to waste time killing 10 each? I mean, these smelly birds have way more than 20 feathers on them. Hell, we could kill one, take our 10, dump the body in the middle of town and everybody can have 10 stupid feathers each."

He was all mad at me that during one fight, I'm standing around staring at the sky or running around at random. The controls are different from other games I'm used to, so I spent most of my time trying to just move and do things properly... and not look like psychotic bumblebee on crack.

I go missing all of a sudden because I've seen some cool looking creature or a tree and ran off to get a better look at it.

Some of our game conversations:

Him: "Shoot at that thing over there."
Me: "Okay." *bang*
Him: "WHATAREYOUDOINGNOTNOW!!!! Nice shot, by the way... But WAIT for me to set up!!"

Him: "C'mere! Where are you GOING?"
Me: "I'm going over there..."
Him: "WHY are you going over there, we're killing THIS one."
Me: "I don't WANNA kill that one. YOU'RE killing that one, so I'll kill this one..."
Him: "I CAN'T kill them by myself, I need you to shoot at them while I cast!! Gaaaahh... I'm HURT now."

Him: "Look, it's a dead body..."
Me: "How do you know it's a dead body?"
Him: "Because it's laying on the ground. Not moving."
Me: "How do you know he's not just sleeping?"
Him: "In the middle of a forest? ... No, see, this is what sleeping looks like." *lays down and sleeps in the middle of the forest for no reason, probably to the bewilderment of the passersby*
Me: "He could still be a sleeping person."
Him: "... He's sprawled out on his back with his arms and legs everywhere. He's dead."
Me: "Well, you sleep sprawled on your back with your arms and legs everywhere."
Him: "I DO NOT!"

Him: "When you mouse over him, it says 'Corpse' in the corner."
Me: "'Corpse' just means 'body' whether it's dead or alive. At least, it is in French. 'Corps' is body, so 'corpse' must be the feminine form."
Him: "THIS IS NOT FRENCH, UH-KAY?! And, besides, he has stars floating around to indicate that he is 'lootable'."
Me: "Maybe he's dizzy."
Him: "... ?"
Me: "He might be dizzy and needed to lay down for a while. How would you like it if you were dizzy and you lay down but some rude person decided to loot you?"
Him: "... ... ... SHUDDUP, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!"

[Update - Thursday, May 19, 2005]

So, userinfoDude hated playing with me so much that he bought me my own copy, scrounged up more RAM for me and gave me his better video card. XD

I'm an Undead Priestess, Fugly Girl™. I have a brown dress, glowy eyes, greasy hair and everything.

Me: "Ooo, a 'Mushroom Hat'... can I wear that?"
Him: "Uh. No. It's a 'Forest Mushroom Cap'. It's food. You eat it."

I think I'm the only person who can aim to walk through a doorway and completely miss the house.

I keep getting stuck in corners.

I tried to walk up to a guy to get my quest. He was wide open, but somehow, I still couldn't, for the life of me, maneouver myself to stand in front of him, face him and talk, all at the same time ("whuddya mean I can't talk to him with my back towards him?"). I finally managed to get to talk to him... I wound up standing on a table, looking like a complete moron. But at that point, I didn't care because I was finally in sort of the right orientation that right-clicking on him worked. *sigh*

I hid behind a bush to cast Smite at the bat. He shouldn't be able to see me. I mean, I couldn't see him.

*och* They can resist my Smite? That's just not fair.

Him: "Okay, look, all those people want to talk to you."
Me: "How do you know?"
Him: "Because they have yellow things over their heads. The ones with yellow question marks have a quest for you."
Me: "Why? What if I don't want to talk to him?"
Him: "You HAVE to."
Me: "But what if I don't WANT a quest? I just want to go outside and smite things."
Him: *gnash teeth* "You have to get the quest. That's the WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME..."

Me: *waiting for the quest to finish printing out*
Quest: *scribble* *scribble* *scribble*
Me: *quadruple-click on the disabled "Accept" button multiple times*
Me: "Ai-ya, tell me FASTER..."
Him: "Y'know, clicking it faster isn't going to make it print out faster."

Him: "Okay, you got the quest, right?"
Me: "Yeah."
Him: "Did you read the scroll?"
Me: "No."
Him: *headdesk*

Fugly: "I have no TARGET."

Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE."
Me: "What the hell is with this 'Out of Range' crap? I was plenty close enough. If I can bloody see them, I should be within range, dammit.
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE."
Me: "SHUUUT UP, you fucking WHINER."

And I press 2-W-2-W until it works. userinfoHusband Guy hates it when I do that XD

Me: 2-W-2-W
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE."
Him: "Just keep walking... you'll see the number on your Quick Bar turn from red to white when you're in range."
Me: 2-W-2-W-2
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE."
Him: "You don't have to do that, you know. It will turn white when you can cast."
Me: W-2-W-2-W
Fugly: "I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE. I am OUT of RANGE."

He sets himself on Follow and comes over to my machine to watch over my shoulder, tutor me and what-not. I'm down two pixels and I scream at him: "AAA!! GO HEAL ME!! GO HEAL ME!"

He tells me that when my Smite bar turns green, I can hit the button to re-cast again. I tried to time it perfectly so that I start hitting the button before it turns green so that by the time it is green, I've already pressed the button, thereby, wasting as little time as possible. After a while, I give up trying to time it and just press the cast button in rapid succession.

It's like the Elevator Button Theory. The faster you repeatedly press the button, the faster the elevator comes to your floor.

I think it's dumb that I'm out of mana and I can't drink water while I'm in battle. That's retarded. I can SO slash a dog with my right hand and drink with my left.