June 2nd, 2005



weather: cloudy
outside: 16°C
mood: hmm...
kaseido does Thankful Thursdays every week... well, most weeks (no pressure! =D). I think it's a great idea and one that I'd like to take part in at random throughout the year. We piss and moan that commercialization has rendered our holidays and special observances meaningless and yet, we still feed the industry, right on cue, every year. What's wrong with THAT picture?

Anyway, enough about everyone else. Let's talk about me.

I'm the kind of person who sees the glass as half empty. But I'm also the kind of person who's glad there's anything in the glass at all.

I'm thankful for a lot of things, but here's today's:

Last night, we went to bed way early... like 2100h. He has the flu and I was just that tired. It's dumb that this is the only way we can have some time together, but I'll take whatever I can get.

We were just laying in bed dozing and chatting. It was the most time we've had together at a stretch in months. Every time the conversation got serious and intense, one of us would say or do something completely unexpected and silly/stupid and make us both laugh. It's good and bad at the same time. Sometimes it seems some things never get concluded or resolved. But it's good because laughing is always good.

I'm very thankful for the relationship I have (and have had) with userinfomy Husband.

So many people have trouble finding love. And these are people who are far more accomplished, smarter, quicker on their feet, far better looking and... just plain all around far better than I. And they still can't find a decent match.

Research papers, news articles, expert analyses on successful relationships can say all they like about what makes love last. I read as many as I can because I don't know what the hell I'm doing either; I want to know what I'm doing right so that I can continue to do it; I want to know what I might be doing wrong so that I can correct it... in time. But I still find that the premises and conclusions only partially apply to us.

I'm not a good wife. Not by a long shot. I'm not easy to get along with at close range. I have a very difficult personality and I know that. With all my neuroses, faults and shortcomings, I'm very fortunate to even be a wife at all.