March 15th, 2006



weather: cloudy
outside: 5.9°C
mood: contemplative
The subject of touch/physical contact came up in a community I read regularly.

I flinch at strangers touching me. On a bus or a public bench, I will sit as far away from the nearest human possible.

I have NO history of sexual abuse, no history of abuse of any sort for that matter. The only person that touches me at all, most of the time, is my husband. We're almost always holding hands when we're together, in public or not. We hug, lean on each other, sit very close together and play-fight a lot.

Asian women tend to hold hands and/or link arms; that's just a cultural norm. I thought I was going to explode the first time my Mother-in-Law linked arms with me, one day, way back when. I think I've gotten used to the arm linking. The only time I hug her is when she's just about to get on a plane to travel somewhere or the first time I see her after she comes back.

When we touch someone we love, we secrete hormones, one of which is the now well-known oxytocin, that biochemically bond us to those we love. It's an important part of the bonding process. Some people simply don't need it as much and get along just fine. They secrete the chemicals they need when they are in close proximity to their lovers and when they make love. It's highly individual.

Most of the INTJ profiles I've read will say something about not wanting to be touched. I found it very true. I'm not sure if it's because of my excessively utilitarian upbringing or if it's my lack of need for oxytocin. It's probably both.

Now that I think about it, the lack of need for physical contact and, therefore, oxytocin, correlates with the fact that A) I don't have many close friends and B) I don't see a huge problem with that.