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Eminem Dream

weather: sunny
outside: 15°C
mood: hmmm...

Reading other peoples' dreams can be disjointed and boring. I tend to remember a LOT of detail from my dreams, so I'll stick this in a cut.


I was back in highschool. The "cool kids" in my school this time were the likes of Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Marshall Mathers and their respective music video posse's.

The colouring of the setting was a hazy, drab, trying-to-be-vibrant, dull creams, dull peach, dull olive green colours caused by old and yellowed fluorescent lights (like in a highschool gymnasium). Occasional spots of natural white light from tiny windows in the distance.

I was not in the cool in-crowd, just as before. I was a Lone Brain Wolf, just like before and going through school thinking, "what is everyone's problem? Why are these people so stupid"? No one did anything to me, just ignored me and I was okay with it.

Then Avril Lavigne (wearing the exact outfit from the MTV Awards night) hands me a note. It's from Marshall Mathers. It's something to the effect that he wants to be my friend and "get with me"... He probably just wanted to copy homework off me, but I had a bit of that highschool girlie "oh wow, a boy likes me" kind of feeling.

I wrote back that sure, it would be okay with me, but what's with the note, why couldn't he just talk to me in person? I sent it back via Avril.

This launched a whole series of passing notes back and forth between Marshall and me through Avril. We wrote all our notes on adding machine paper, so it was this long skinny column of text. It was all printed too, not handwritten. Whatever I wanted to write would just appear on the receipt paper.

The other weird thing was it was very formal communication. I'm sure Marshall had his lawyer write it for him. I'd write stuff like, "please refer to my last note, timestamp blahblah, section 34C, paragraph 9 where I say yaddayadda..." then continue with my note. He would respond and quote his own previous notes and quote some of mine. And on and on it went. It all basically boiled down to: I was smart and he liked me because none of the other girls were smart.

Poor Avril. She ended up carrying this box full of rolled up receipts and held it out for me every time I read the latest one just in case I needed to go back and check out a reference. =}

And in the midst of the note passing, while I was reading a note from him, I headed back to my locker and saw my lock broken on the floor in front of it. I opened it up and it had been trashed. Someone was jealous that Marshall had an interest in me. I figured it was either Christina Aguilera or those two Trailer Trash Girls Going 'Round the Outside in his "Without Me" video.

I didn't think much of it. I wasn't panicking or anything, there were no feelings of stress at my locker being trashed. I was incredibly Zen about it. Like, "oh, look... my locker's shredded... okay... I have a class now..."

The last few notes from Marshall said something to the effect that he was trying to schedule a test for me. It wasn't anything legitimate, it was like a "Coolness" test that I had to pass before I could be his friend/girlfriend/lawyer/whatever.

I said out loud, "Look, just BE my friend or don't, but don't put me through a stupid Coolness Test".


That's when I woke up... I don't think it's an anxiety dream, even though it's the classic anxiety elements. I felt quite calm, in control and fairly confident through it. It may just be me telling myself that the "little people" (characterized by "big people") don't matter. I'm better than they are, however "cool" and "in" they think they are. And whatever bullshit they can muster, bring it on. It won't phase me.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
xinit
Sep. 12th, 2002 09:54 am (UTC)
If passing paper notes in school was like email is now... constantly quoting the other person's comments. Something about Avril that parsed for me as Email .
bride
Sep. 12th, 2002 10:25 am (UTC)
Avril = E-mail =)

I'll have to remember that if I never get to give input on naming servers on a network =)
bride
Sep. 12th, 2002 12:14 pm (UTC)
I meant:

... if I never get to give input...

But you knew that. =)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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eLouai
bride
The Bride of the First House

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