The Bride of the First House (bride) wrote,
The Bride of the First House

Small Things Wish List

weather: drizzling
outside: 16°C
mood: pensive
music: Cecilia Bartoli - Exultate Jubilate (Mozart)

I'm keeping a wish list of smaller things I want. Several times now, I've found myself with a little extra money that I didn't expect or I've done something that I feel like rewarding myself for (doesn't happen often, but hey...). And several times now, I've found myself at a loss as to what I want to get myself.

I know there are things I want. There will be times when I really want to buy something small that I'll enjoy - ANYTHING! - but when I try to focus on what I want, specifically, I come up with a black hole. I end up socking my money away, only to have a brilliant idea of something perfect I could have gotten, later on. By that time, I'd either decide that I can't afford it anymore or I don't feel like spending money.

Frustratingly enough, it's the same way with movies. I know there are movies I want to see, but when someone says "Hey, let's catch a movie! What should we see?", I'll be like, *think-think-thinketty-think* "Umm... let's just stay home..."

Some would say this is a reallyreally fortunate thing. But it's frustrating. Just once in a while, I'd like to get something that I want instead of only getting things I need. It's not that I'm stone broke. I do have some personal savings (aside from my RRSP and our joint savings), but I'm afraid to spend it... it's like I'm afraid to be happy. =O

It's like I'm ... afraid ... to be ... happy. Wow.

So anyway, I'm going to keep a running list for myself and see how this works out. I just have to make myself add the brilliant ideas that I have once in a while. Maybe I really don't want anything from this list. Maybe just managing a wish list, adding things, taking them off and changing them without actually buying anything will make me happy. I dunno...

It's interesting that most of the items are CDs... Honestly, I'm not even sure why I have CDs listed when I don't even believe in buying music anymore. Soundwaves hitting my eardrums is a naturally occurring phenomenon and generally not one, for which I am willing to pay. Which just reinforces my thought that I really don't want to buy anything from this list.

Okay, maybe I do know. They're all Ben Heppner CDs. I met him once, very briefly and he does deserve my money.

And realistically, I only expect to go through those items at about one a year (if that). So, that'll keep me occupied for quite a while. Of course, if I win the Super7, they're all getting swallowed up in one go.


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