I'm an INTJ — 56%, 44%, 67%, 67%.
- Portrait of an INTJ, BSM Consulting
- INTJ Relationships, BSM Consulting
- Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging, Marina Margaret Heiss
- INTJ — The Mastermind, David Keirsey
- INTJ — The Free-Thinker, Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow
- Life's Independent Thinkers (INTJ), Otto Kroeger and Janet M Thuesen
- How To Care For Introverts — Linda Kreger Silverman
- Caring for Your Introvert — Jonathan Rauch
This completely explains why I've always felt like I was "born old". In my more frustrated times, I think people are stupid in general and don't care to be among them. I've always known that I was different and odd (INTJ women make up about 1% of the general population, so small wonder). I didn't care about not fitting in. I've always been a trend breaker. I don't have many friends, but the friends I do have are very good friends. And with only a few exceptions, I don't want any C-0 continuity with anyone.
On Being an Introvert
I'm an introvert.
But that does not mean I am always sullen, withdrawn and/or depressed. In fact, I took one of those Mood Evaluation memes and it said that based on the mood icons I've used over time, I was "one of the happiest goddamned people on LJ" =D I'm called a "pessimist", but I'm slowly learning to show people that there's a difference between being realistic and being crazy, wreckless, in denial, and stupid.
It also does not mean I never want to be around other people. I suppose cracking jokes that reinforce the stereotype is bad of me, but really, it's not true. I don't break out in hives when there are other human beings around.
I can talk to anyone, at any length, about anything if the subject is right =) But I don't need to. I don't need to interact with other people to feel whole or worthwhile.
I'd rather have no friends at all than deal with friend/people drama. Sure, I'd most prefer having drama-less friends, who wouldn't? But on my preference continuum, it goes "friends without drama", "no friends", then "friends with drama". If I have friends, that's great. But if I don't, I don't feel incomplete, or that there's necessarily anything wrong with me.
I also don't need to be gabbing non-stop with someone to consider them a friend. For many, a friendship requires regular contact. I don't. Friends are still friends regardless of how long it's been between conversations. My best friend from Grade 3-7 moved away for highschool and I hadn't seen her in 14 years. I finally found her again, we met up, talked for nearly 48 hours non-stop catching up and continuing where we left off.
Silence is not awkward to me.
Of course, this only applies to me. INTJs can be very very different from each other. To other INTJs, it could mean other things as well. For some people, I've read that it means they get "worn out" by a lot of social interaction and they need to get away and be alone for a while to "recharge". I don't really feel that, but maybe because I don't really end up in a lot of social situations, so I always have plenty of time to "recharge" in between and I've never really felt worn out.
I guess, maybe, for some people, it truly means that they want nothing to do with other humans whatsoever, but I think that's rare.
Interacting with Other INTJs
Oddly (or not so oddly) enough, being INTJ doesn't necessarily mean I feel a sense of companionship with fellow INTJs. In fact, I can't stand some people who claim to be INTJs. I don't see a correlation between the MBTI and whether or not I have a sense of friendship connection with someone. There is generally an equal likelihood that I will admire or be annoyed by someone with any given MBTI archetype.
I keep adding and dropping and adding and dropping the INTJ communities. I keep suckering myself into rejoining because I keep thinking that I'll find some kind of connection among people who are similar. I have found some good friends and great discussion that way, so I will get optimistic about it. But invariably, it turns into a forum for harping on how intelligent INTJs are in one form or another.
What's your IQ? How many books do you read in a week? What's the average number of syllables in words you use in everyday speech? And other inane crap like that.
I find members' introductions in INTJ forums nauseating when they say, "I'm very intelligent. People are intimidated by me. I'm too smart and therefore don't get along well with others." ... *barf*
My actual "intelligence" is not important to me. It's not as important as knowing the limits of my knowledge and abilities. Heh, it's kind of like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. As soon as you learn where your limits are, you would have learned something new and therefore are smarter for it =)