Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Marry Someone from Your Ancestral Country?

weather: light showers
outside: 10°C
mood: contemplative
An interesting question that someone posted at random to asam:

Do you think you could ever marry a native from your ancestral country?

Almost all the comment responses to that thread say they cannot.

I actually think I could. I might be being naïve here, I don't know. I think I could even marry someone from the Mainland, assuming the right personality. Though it would very much depend on how the family reacts to me. You're not just marrying the man, you're marrying the family.

I think I'd be more comfortable with a family that's already friends with my parents because they tend to be the more anti-bullshit crowd. My Dad's female ex-coworkers and friends in China are all Engineers and Technicians. They all love me to death. =) Dad told me later about a few "approaches" on and off throughout the years, but Mom and Dad don't believe in arranged marriages and that sort of thing. They were content to see what I did with my own life first.

I think if I hadn't found my Husband at such a young age, I would have ended up with a son of one of their friends. So, to find an ally in a Mother-in-Law among my Dad's friends wouldn't be a problem. And, really, for a girl, it's the Mother-in-Law that's important. =D

The In-Laws would more than likely want him to live in North America with me instead of us living in China. So, it would be on my territory (ie. my terms) and it lessens the likelihood of them living with us, at least for the first little while before they would want to immigrate.

Mainlanders are mostly agnostic or they're very mildly Chinese Buddhist which would go well with my beliefs.

They also wouldn't expect me to change my last name. Mainland Chinese women keep their surnames when they marry. That would be one less thorn in everybody's side. =)


Feb. 24th, 2004 07:18 pm (UTC)
Uh... ok. That seems like an almost ridiculous question to me. How could people say, without reservation, that they couldn't marry a native from their ancestral country? That just seems bizarre to me.

I try to generally pick things like, say, spouses, based on what I think of them as individuals, not where they were born. Or is prejudice - against your own people, no less - now chic?

That's just weird.
Feb. 24th, 2004 07:24 pm (UTC)
Heh. Well... read the community...
When I looked, it seemed like most of the people who said that were (fairly) young girls. Comments like "mixed children are the best!" and "can't stand the oppression! (from Chinese males)" seemed to dominate.

Frankly, I wonder whether any of these people -know- what people from the mainland are like, rather than the stereotype/Hollywoodized versions.
Feb. 24th, 2004 08:57 pm (UTC)
The thread is here.

I really don't know. A lot of them didn't elaborate. It might be that they think the cultural differences, expectations and whatnot are too great. It could be the language.
Feb. 24th, 2004 09:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I eventually dug it up and skimmed it. Since most of them didn't back up what they said with any sort of reasons or logic, I don't feel bad about making a blanket statement like this:

They're all frickin' idiots.

But I've been feeling too nice, recently, I'm trying to rediscover some of my edge. I need to make more people cry!

(Kidding. Well, mostly.)
Feb. 24th, 2004 09:09 pm (UTC)
Haha =)


The Bride of the First House

Latest Month

March 2015