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Marry Someone from Your Ancestral Country?

weather: light showers
outside: 10°C
mood: contemplative
An interesting question that someone posted at random to asam:

Do you think you could ever marry a native from your ancestral country?

Almost all the comment responses to that thread say they cannot.

I actually think I could. I might be being naïve here, I don't know. I think I could even marry someone from the Mainland, assuming the right personality. Though it would very much depend on how the family reacts to me. You're not just marrying the man, you're marrying the family.

I think I'd be more comfortable with a family that's already friends with my parents because they tend to be the more anti-bullshit crowd. My Dad's female ex-coworkers and friends in China are all Engineers and Technicians. They all love me to death. =) Dad told me later about a few "approaches" on and off throughout the years, but Mom and Dad don't believe in arranged marriages and that sort of thing. They were content to see what I did with my own life first.

I think if I hadn't found my Husband at such a young age, I would have ended up with a son of one of their friends. So, to find an ally in a Mother-in-Law among my Dad's friends wouldn't be a problem. And, really, for a girl, it's the Mother-in-Law that's important. =D

The In-Laws would more than likely want him to live in North America with me instead of us living in China. So, it would be on my territory (ie. my terms) and it lessens the likelihood of them living with us, at least for the first little while before they would want to immigrate.

Mainlanders are mostly agnostic or they're very mildly Chinese Buddhist which would go well with my beliefs.

They also wouldn't expect me to change my last name. Mainland Chinese women keep their surnames when they marry. That would be one less thorn in everybody's side. =)


Feb. 24th, 2004 09:19 pm (UTC)
I could maybe see a vegan not being able to handle Chinese cuisine (our food motto: "anything with its back facing the sky!"). =D

But the thing is, even without the language barrier, I could have communication problems with a North American boy, no matter what race.

I can also have fundamental differences in morals and values with a Chinese boy who was brought up in North America (Chinese Bible-thumping zealots anyone?).

And then again, some days I think I have irreconcilable differences with my husband. =)


The Bride of the First House

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