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Troy, Van Helsing, Honey

weather: bright sunny
outside: 16°C
mood: blasée
I haven't written about any movies in a while. We saw Van Helsing a while ago; Troy today; and Honey was rented. No spoilers.

Troy ()

I guess I was completely in the wrong frame of mind to be watching this movie today. Maybe it was the overabundance of Pretty Boys™, but I stopped paying attention and started watching for all kinds of other things. Thoughts:

  • Ladies and Gentlemen, I cannot impress upon you enough, the importance of scanning your downloaded software for viruses.

  • OH! OH! That... that was his HEEL!!! I GET IT!!! BWAHAHAHA!!! XD =D =D That's still the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What, his mother couldn't turn him right side up and dip the last part of his foot into the river? Maybe she wasn't allowed to double-dip.

  • My, Rose Byrne (Briseis) has beautiful hands. Yes, there's a hot'n'heavy scene, in which, one nekkid body belongs to Brad Pitt. And I'm noticing her hands. If I've ever given you the impression that I was kinda normal, I am truly sorry.

  • A Greek dude with an Sheffield accent. I think I shall have a mild nosebleed.

Van Helsing ()

I have Russian co-workers. I hear Russian-ish English every day.

I'm not as sure that the accents were bad. I don't know how different Russian, Romanian and Ukranian accents sound in comparison. But I did notice how incredibly bizarre it was for perfect English colloquial grammar to be applied onto the supposed Eastern European accent.

One example is, they won't transpose the subject and verb in question form.

Honey ()

*bouncie-bouncie-bouncie* *lay-up* *skippitty-skippitty-skippitty*

*HRRRRGH* *WRETCH*

Bah. Nevermind.

[All My Movies]


Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
chenpion
May. 31st, 2004 02:06 am (UTC)
*Head explodes* Wha?
After reading so many reviews about all these movies, I read yours and I'm like... huh?

I REALLY don't understand bullet point #1 for Troy. Really don't. Some programmer joke? *scratches head*
(Deleted comment)
bride
May. 31st, 2004 08:51 am (UTC)
Re: *Head explodes* Wha?
Bingo =)
chenpion
May. 31st, 2004 05:58 pm (UTC)
Ooohhhhh yeeeaaaaahhhh...
I thought it was a random office note that somehow wandered into the review. D'oh!
bride
May. 31st, 2004 08:51 am (UTC)
Re: *Head explodes* Wha?
The Trojan Horse. =)
trigeekgirl
May. 31st, 2004 09:31 am (UTC)
Yes, there's a hot'n'heavy scene, in which, one nekkid body belongs to Brad Pitt. And I'm noticing her hands. If I've ever given you the impression that I was kinda normal, I am truly sorry.

That would probably be my reaction too. I have no idea why Brad Pitt is considered a sex god.

And it's good that you're not normal. Normal is boring.
yueni
May. 31st, 2004 09:41 am (UTC)
Normal is boring.

I agree. And I can't stand Brad Pitt, anyway. Whoever it was who took the liberty of making Brad the poster boy for male beauty ought to be kicked. Hard.
bride
May. 31st, 2004 09:49 am (UTC)
I like Brad Pitt in interesting roles, like Jeffrey Goines in 12 Monkeys and Mickey O'Neil in Snatch ("iss fer mee meeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!") XD

But playing Achilles was too easy for him. I guess he needed a quick infusion of easy money now that Jennifer Aniston isn't getting her regular paycheque from Friends. *shrug*
(Deleted comment)
bride
May. 31st, 2004 01:08 pm (UTC)
I thought he said he didn't want to do any more pretty boy hero roles anymore. *huff* Sellout.

I should make a point to see Fight Club.
bride
May. 31st, 2004 09:53 am (UTC)
I like Brad Pitt in interesting roles, like Jeffrey Goines in 12 Monkeys and Mickey O'Neil in Snatch ("iss fer mee meeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!") XD

But it's kinda like the Leo DiC syndrome. Playing Achilles, the Pretty Boy Superhero Who Can Kill Everyone And Boinks The Girl, was too easy for him. I guess he needed a quick infusion of easy money now that Jennifer Aniston isn't getting her regular paycheque from Friends. *shrug*
trigeekgirl
Jun. 1st, 2004 07:31 am (UTC)
I didn't really care for Snatch, but Mickey was cool. I don't think I understood a word he said the entire movie.

Oh, and Leo looks constipated more than sexy.
bride
Jun. 1st, 2004 08:31 am (UTC)
I understood a little and it was better when he repeated stuff =) But yeah, I needed the subtitles =D
razorw
May. 31st, 2004 09:20 pm (UTC)
I liked Van Helsing. It was fun. Didn't really think about the accent, but then again, I'm neither Russian, Romanian nor Ukranian =P.

How did they (co-workers) feel about the *Russian-ized English*?



bride
May. 31st, 2004 09:36 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed Van Helsing as well. I liked it better than League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. =)

I haven't asked if any of my co-workers saw it.
razorw
Jun. 1st, 2004 09:23 pm (UTC)
But did you enjoy the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
bride
Jun. 1st, 2004 10:49 pm (UTC)
I thought League was mediocre, it was sort of neat but not that well done. So VH was a little better.
razorw
Jun. 2nd, 2004 09:10 pm (UTC)
Ah icic. I heard Sean Connery absolutely hated making the movie. Maybe I'll pick it up for a rental. --Ray
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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