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I've been busy all week and I haven't had a chance to write. But I didn't want to blow my post limit.

How do I hate people?

Let me count the ways... *grump*

Well, my fear of having a humongoid wedding has been alleviated, somewhat. But that comes with its own set of issues.

See, a lot of Fiance Guy's family's friends run back and forth between here and Taiwan. We don't know where they would actually be on the day of our wedding. Hell, THEY don't know when they'll be where, they just kinda toggle whenever they feel like it. But it would be a capital offence if we didn't invite them. I've been panicking that there'd be all these people to deal with at the wedding.

My friends have been great. My parents' friends are great because a lot of them have children much older than me, they've been through the wedding planning thing and they understand the importance of RSVP'ing.

Fiance Guy's family's friends, however, are big smeggy-asses. They don't RSVP. I made Fiance Guy's family call them - each and every last one of them - and made them commit to either coming or not coming and how many. I'm so glad my Mother-in-law understands our point of view.

Now we're left with 210 guests, and if a certain crowd decides they won't be here, we'll have 200.

As much as I am relieved, we might have a problem with the restaurant. We told them approximately 25 tables. 20 isn't going over well. *sigh* I'm hoping that they'll let us pay for 25 tables and give us credit for the extra 5 tables later on.

That would be great, I'd like to have a big-ish family dinner thing on December 12 of this year for our 10th Anniversary. Fiance Guy and I have been emotionally married for 10 years already.

Guest Book - Admitting Defeat

I now understand why the scrap books and journals that claim to be "hand-made" look so crappy. Because it's infinitely easier to make crappy looking journals. =) Yeah, the one I made in the Hand-made Journal workshop looked okay; expectedly crappy-looking things will always look okay =)

The problem is that it doesn't work when you try to extend crappy to make beautiful.

My Dad sensed that my Guest-Book-making plans ha'gang agley. I don't know what gave that away... oh... my freaking and crying, maybe? We drove down to Granville Island and bought a ready made one that we were both satisfied with - one where Dad could still pen his Chinese brush calligraphy on the cover, which is the most important thing in the world to me and one that still looks decent. It's not as grand and beautiful as I envisioned, but I've accepted that the Universe sometimes doesn't lend well to re-arranging.

My Speech

The two hardest parts of my speech are 1) emotionally detaching myself from the words so I don't start crying and bawling in the middle of it and 2) practicing the Cantonese enough so that I can do it without tripping over every two words.

My speech is just a big fat Thank You and not much more. But even so, I tried to make it meaningful to me, my family and Fiance Guy's family. I'm mentioning some things that really tug at my own heart strings here. I find it particularly hard because my family doesn't fit into what other people might call A Loving Family, but underneath it all, the four of us (my Mom, my Dad, my brother and I) share the strongest bond there ever existed.

In English and Mandarin, you can say exactly what you've written. Prose and speech are one and the same. In Cantonese, you would never say things the way you write it. It would sound much too smarmy, stuck up and just plain awful. But because Cantonese is just a dialect, there is no way to write some of the expressions into words. IOW, there are no characters, it's impossible to "write Cantonese".

So, the Cantonese parts of my speech will have to be by memory and on the fly. I'm really nervous at the thought of having to make something up on the fly, on that day. Balls of nerves don't make things up well.

Table Arrangements

The tables are pretty much set. There are one or two spots open here and there, but there's not much we can do about that. There are 5 extra tables open. If Aunt Edith and her family decide to come, we'll have room for a bit of rearranging... We'll see what to do with these after tonight, depending on what the restaurant manager says about saving the credit for another time.

Family Picture Groupings

I had a list of pictures we're taking. Certain people have to be in our wedding pictures, it was just a matter of figuring out the order and grouping them together. In general, we're getting the Flower Girl and the Ring Bearer ones done first because they're little and don't cooperate when they're hungry. Grandparents will go next so that they can go for lunch, then the family members that are only in one or two pics, then all the people that have a crud-load of pictures to do.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 24th, 2001 05:26 pm (UTC)
Just felt I should say hello, I've been watching your wedding journal for a little while with great enjoyment. I just find the coincidences amusing, as you've got a similar (possibly the same, if I saw the character) family name to mine, are from the same part of China (although I was born in the states, my family moved out of china -> hk a couple of generations back and then my father moved to the US from there), and live in Vancouver, where most of my family lives. :)

I have to say I'm impressed by the lengths you've gone to plan and prepare for your wedding. I hope it goes well, but I don't see how it wouldn't at this point. :) Good luck.


You can have as many journals as you want, and post as often as you want in any/all of them. ;)
Jun. 24th, 2001 09:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Hello.
Hi =) Nice to meet you =) I've seen your icon around in other peoples' journal comments. Thanks for your support, re: wedding.

Re: our last names

I'm 99.99999% sure it's the same character =) It looks like a bird house with a long tailed bird on the right hand side. =)
Jun. 24th, 2001 10:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Hello.
Is this it?

Jun. 24th, 2001 11:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Hello.
Yup. I like the traditional character better. The simplified one looks ... wrong... =}
Jun. 24th, 2001 11:30 pm (UTC)
Re: Hello.
Hehe, I only use traditional characters myself, it's how I learned them. I agree... the simplified ones are too artificial looking. They're easier I guess, but it seems to me if you get taught the traditional style from the beginning that it's not actually any more difficult.

That's really weird. You're the first non-family member I've met that shares my family name. Maybe that's the weird part, but you're the first one. And from the same general area, too. Heh, I wonder if we're distantly related.

To add to the list, I was just in Vancouver 3 weeks ago or so for my cousin's wedding (another Tang/Teng/Deng/whatever). Quite bizarre.

Well, anyways. I hope you have a wonderful wedding. :)
Jun. 25th, 2001 09:30 am (UTC)
Re: Hello.
Re: Traditional vs. Simplified Chinese

There are merits to both. I can see it as part of the evolution of the Chinese language. I saw Ancient Chinese and the modern Traditional Chinese is a simplification of that too =)

But, it's kinda like the capitalization issue in English. Out of respect, I can't bring myself to use Simplified characters for Proper Nouns.

Re: Non-family Tang/Teng/Deng

It's in the third tier of "Most Popular Chinese Surnames" =) I've met one or two others, not many though.
Jun. 24th, 2001 06:21 pm (UTC)
I don't know about hand-made journals and books having to look like crap. I worked as a tech assistant at a summer art program, and one of the programs offered was hand book binding. Folded and stapled, glued and pressed, etc. The books that came out of that course were amazing... I'm thinking that the teacher is a huge part of that. All too often Con. Ed. courses are run by bored Martha Stewarts(tm) and not by artists...

I guess I was lucky to see the output of one run by an artist ;)
Jun. 24th, 2001 09:49 pm (UTC)
Re: the Martha Stewarts of the world
That might be it too, but I think it's more to do with experience... as in, I don't have any =) I don't realize what works, what doesn't, and just because one thing works doesn't mean that a small change in detail will "look better" =P
Jun. 24th, 2001 08:31 pm (UTC)
Weddings, aren't they wonderful???!!!
If you see some of our pictures, I can assure you in a good chunk of them I look like a trout that got whomped on the head. Too many people, too much talking, and crying and posing for pictures and emotion and everything, well, you'll do fine. Remember to just breathe in, breathe out, find that calm little place in the back of your head and sort of stay there.

Not that I didn;t enjoy the day, but I needed moments of calm and quiet and peace to gather my thoughts and energy and composure.

Jun. 24th, 2001 09:52 pm (UTC)
Calm Little Place...
... in the back of my head...

I'll have to remember that. Not just for the wedding, but for life in general. Thanks =) Mind if I use that somewhere for my other journal, quietude?

Jun. 25th, 2001 07:01 am (UTC)
Re: Calm Little Place...
Yeah, sure. :)
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


The Bride of the First House

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