The Bride of the First House (bride) wrote,
The Bride of the First House

Prequel Dream

weather: rainshowers
outside: 14°C
mood: hmm...
Remember this weirdo dream? I think I had another one that might be related. It might be, it might not be. But if it is, then we're going backwards in time:

    I'm walking into a boardroom with some things in the crook of my arms. It's a fairly state-of-the-art corporate boardroom. It's bright with natural light from the humongous windows, like many standard issue boardrooms are. It's a lovely sunny day out, but there isn't much direct sunlight in the room, which means it must be a somewhat north-facing room.

    I'm not alone. Other men and women in business suits are pouring in. They're settling in and chatting amongst themselves. I'm hoping no one talks to me, because I really don't know what I'm doing there or what I'm supposed to be doing. And for the most part, they're leaving me alone.

    I can feel someone watching me. It's like being targetted with a sniper rifle that has one of those red guidance beams... it's a weird feeling. It's just one person. A man. I think to myself that I'm not going to look up and meet his eyes. I'm not looking up. I'm not looking up. I also think this is my son's father... yeah, him. Except, I don't think my son's name is Daniel anymore. I didn't understand this until I woke up and thought about it. If this occurred before Daniel was born, then I may not have named my son yet. Therefore, his name would not have been "Daniel". But that's quite a stretch.

    I kept my head down and stared at the papers I had in front of me. I concentrated on what I was going to say in the meeting. Here we go again. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO SAY AT THE MEETING?!?!?!! What was I supposed to report on? What's the status of whatever it is I'm doing? What exactly do I do at this company? *sigh*

    I try to steal a glance at my own torso. I am wearing clothes. *phew* And my attire is appropriate... sort of... I think... Black pants and a short-sleeved light blue cotton qi-pao style shirt with frog clasp buttons down one side. It's not a business outfit, but I really liked it. Boy, I wish I had fashion sense like that when I'm awake =\

    Anyway, back in the dream: memories come to me while I'm thinking about what I'm doing at this meeting. The Guy that's staring at me (that I'm still determined not to look at) is my boyfriend O_o (???) Or he was. We had broken up. Relatively recently. I'm not sure. I think it was an amicable split. I guess it had to have been at least a bit painful judging by how I'm not wanting to talk to him now, but it doesn't feel unmanageable. I don't feel like crying, I don't feel much of anything.

    The other people in the room are taking their seats. I guess the meeting is starting soon. Except, they're talking in low whispers and I vaguely get the feeling they're talking about me. I'm still not looking up but I decide that I'm just being stupid and paranoid. They barely even notice me, so who would bother talking about me?

    The meeting was called to order. I picked up my pen to maybe take some notes if I needed to, but I noticed that it's quiet. Very quiet. Too quiet. I look up and the entire room of 20-odd people is staring at me. Even the Chair.

    Oh shit. I must have been thinking too hard and missed my cue.

    I look at the Chair. "I'm sorry... what was the question?" I stammer.

    It turns out no one had actually said anything yet. But the Chair looked at me quizzically and very subtly gestured at my left hand. Huh? ... What? I look down at my hand and see nothing unusual. It looked as it always does, with my engagement/wedding ring set from my waking life.

    "Are you getting married?" he asks with an anticipating smile... he glances at That Guy. I think he thought we were getting married because of the ring on my finger. I didn't know where That Guy was sitting, but I was pretty sure the Chair was looking at him. Did these people not know that we had broken up? I was pretty sure they did. These things get around reallyreally fast. They had to know.

    "I am married" I heard myself blurt with an uncomfortable smile. Well, it's true, I thought to myself, I'm married to userinfoHusband Guy afterall... I had no idea which reality was which anymore.

    Everyone looked around and mutter at each other in shock. Alright, this was my chance. Get'em while they're confused. Suddenly, whatever my job was at this company, whatever it was that I was suppose to give a status update on in that meeting, everything just went out the window because I said, "I'm tendering my resignation, as of..." I looked around the walls to try to find a clock. Aw, screw it. "Noon. Noon today", I decided, not caring if it were afternoon already.

    Everyone is reeling in more shock. I heard some gasped "NO!"s and "What about—" from a few people. I was still refusing to look around the room at any of the faces. But as my resignation was sinking in, I felt less and less anxious and scared, and better and better about what I had just done.

And I don't remember much more than that.

At this point, I have no intentions of quitting IRL. I love my job and that's all there is to it.

There was nothing in this dream about being pregnant... which is why it might not be a prequel dream afterall.

I actually think I might know what these dreams are alluding to in my waking life. It's not about another guy in my life or being pregnant or anything like that. People in dreams represent aspects of yourself and it's almost never literal.

In a bizarre and twisted way, I think understand the time paradox. If I do understand it right, the next dream in this sequence should be further back in time than this one and I think I can even guess at the events in the next one.

Tags: dreamscape

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