The Bride of the First House (bride) wrote,
The Bride of the First House


weather: mainly sunny
outside: 20.3°C
mood: ...
You are a perfectionist.

This assessment comes up in survey results and personality profiles for me a fair bit.

The truth is, I'm far from a perfectionist. I think I'm labelled that way because people just don't know what it is. Much like people generally don't understand what "anti-social" really means and usually use it incorrectly.

True perfectionists are usually utter failures because they can't accept anything short of Absolutely Perfect™. They're so obsessed with unreal expectations that they stop trying because they have an All-Or-None approach to success. They cannot differentiate what is and is not within the realm of possibility for their own situation nor adapt their actions and attitudes accordingly.

Perfectionism is the uncompromising persuit of an unrealistic and unattainable level of achievement. The key words are "uncompromising", "unrealistic" and "unattainable".

It's a very destructive trait to have and it sounds a lot like a learning disability.

The very few true perfectionists who are successful are only successful by luck of the draw. Circumstances have given them exactly the right environment that between All or Nothing, they've always gotten the All.

I can have very high standards for myself and still not be a perfectionist. I accept failure and try to understand it to do different and better next time. I accept that making mistakes is a part of learning. I accept that success doesn't always mean that I arrive at the goal I first intended to arrive at. And even if I do, I can accept a lower standard as a trade-off for something else that had to be given up to get there.

I can accept that there will always be people who do better and worse than I do at anything. There will always be people smarter and dumber, taller and shorter, thinner and fatter than I am.

I don't see that I'm much of a perfectionist.

Tags: open-ended surveys

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